Fighting Monsters with a Team of Assholes
by BelugaWhale
Summary: Karkat, Terezi, Vriska, Sollux and Eridan used to be a pretty good hunting team before they split up and went their separate ways. Everyone was off doing their own thing and they were all pretty happy. But after Sollux goes missing Karkat doesn't have any other choice other than to get their old team back together and go look for him. Unfortunately their team consists of assholes.


_(okay so this is my first fic uploaded here. Not the first one I've written but even so. I've written a few chapters and shizzle, it was originally just a thing for a friend and me since we had the idea together but idk I'm pretty proud of what I've got so far. Tell me if you like it and shizzle and I'll upload the rest)_

Eridan looks up from his book. He tilts his head, listening closely. There it is again, another clink, metal against metal. He swings his long skinny legs out of the bed and gets up, dropping his book onto the empty space beside him. As he pulls the covers off, the figure next to him stirs. Eridan turns around and they sit up, blinking blearily in his direction.

"What's up?" the figure asks, yawning and running a hand through their thick black hair. Eridan smiles softly and tucks a lock of hair behind their ear gingerly.

"I thought I heard something, it's probably just a cat or something. Go back to sleep Fef," he says quietly. Feferi nods then drops back onto the pillows, waving him off.

"Hurry back," she murmurs. Eridan nods and rolls his eyes. His head jerks upwards as he hears it again, quite clearly this time, and a lot louder than the time before. He heads for the door, reaching behind the wardrobe to grab his rifle. Eridan sticks tightly to the wall as he walks out the bedroom. He hears the sound from the front room, levels his rifle, takes a deep breath and steps through the door. It swings open loudly, cracking against the wall. Eridan looks around, his purple eyes flashing behind his glasses. The room is empty but Eridan doesn't drop his gun. Instead he spins on his heel, fingers coiling around the trigger.

The gun is suddenly knocked backwards out of his hands and a balled fist comes flying up towards his face. Eridan ducks quickly, but not quick enough. Knuckles of the fist graze his glasses, sending them flying off his face and spinning under a table. Squinting, Eridan manages to block the other punch coming in from the side and get his hand on his assailant's shoulder. He quickly steps one foot behind his attacker's, pushes hard on the shoulder and pulls back his foot sharply. The figure falls to the floor with a thump and a curse. Eridan dives under the table, grabs his glasses and the rifle and spins back to face the body on the floor.

"Fucking hell Eridan what the fuck was that you cocksucker!" a very angry and horribly familiar voice yells. Eridan quickly turns on the light. Lying in the floor in front of him, rubbing the back of his head, is a short glaring boy with messy black hair and a sickle gripped in one hand. "Help me up douchebag."

"What the hell are you doing here Kar?" Eridan asks, not helping him up. Karkat sighs loudly and gets up himself.

"I'm here for you, you incompetent jackass," snaps Karkat.

"Oh joy. Well, here I am. You can leave now," Eridan replies, pointing at the door with his rifle.

"No," Karkat says, folding his arms.

"Leave!" Eridan insists his voice dropping into a snarl.

"Karkat!" a high girly voice suddenly squeals from the doorway and Feferi bursts into the room. She runs straight to Karkat and throws her arms around his neck. Karkat pulls a face and moves to pull away. He stops as Eridan gives him a glare to match his own and aims his rifle at Karkat's head. "It's been aaaaagees!"

"Too long," Karkat agrees disdainfully as they break apart. Feferi grins and takes a couple of steps back so the she's beside Eridan. She glances down at the rifle in his hand and gives a disapproving tut.

"Give it here," she insists.

"Fef," Eridan whines, "He's dangerous. It's a perfectly fine precaution." Fef rolls her eyes and puts her hand over the hand holding the rifle. Eridan sighs and lets go. Fef takes his hand in hers and leans the rifle gently against the wall behind them.

"So watchya here for Karkat?" Feferi asks, intwining her fingers with Eridan's and bumping her hip against his. Eridan blushes slightly, not meeting Karkat's eye.

"He's just here to speak to me," he says, pushing his glasses up his nose. Feferi looks between the two glaring boys for a moment then grins again.

"I'll leave you two to it then!" she says then bounces out the room. Eridan watches her go, smiling. Then he smile drops and he turns back to Karkat.

"Why haven't you left yet?" he asks. Karkat sighs and spins his sickle between his fingers before tucking it into his pocket.

"Sollux is missing."

"I don't care."

"He was on a hunting trip and is now missing."

"I still don't care."

Karkat gives and exasperated sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"You're the dickiest dick I've ever met you absolute fucking bastard," Karkat snarls.

"Yep," Eridan replies angrily. They stand there in silence for a few moments before Eridan finally speaks. "What was he hunting?" he asks almost silently.

"What was that?" Karkat says, smirking slightly.

"You fucking know what I said," snaps Eridan. "Are you gonna tell me or not?"

"Alright alright!" Karkat says, "Sol said there was something coming after Aradia. He wouldn't shut up about it but wouldn't tell us what it was either. Then one fucking minute we're talking and the next he's yelling something about fire or some shit then he hangs the fuck up on me!"

"When doesn't Captor hang up on you, he's always been a jackass," Eridan points out.

"Shut up he's my friend."

"Oh yeah, some friend."

"Better than you've ever been."

"Says you who hasn't talked to me for a whole fucking year and are only back now because you want me to come save your precious Sollux," Eridan says, his voice getting slowly louder.

"He's not MY Sollux you fucking moron. And I know you hate him enough to save his ass just to piss him off for a bit longer. Anyway Ampora," Karkat says quietly, "what the hell would Feferi say if she knew you left HER precious Sollux to die."

Karkat spits out each word with contempt. Erdian suddenly launches forwards and punches Karkat full in the face. Karkat drops back, falling against the sofa with a yell of surprise and pain. Eridan grabs his rifle from against the wall and aims it back at Karkat's head.

"Get out," he says, his voice and angry hiss. Karkat looks up at him, bright red blood trickling from his nose.

"I need your help okay!" he shouts, wiping it away on the back of his hand.

"I don't give a fuck, get out," Eridan replies, not moving his rifle from Karkat. "Go find someone cares."

"Fine!" Karkat yells getting to his feet and kicking over the coffee table. Eridan doesn't even flinch as Karkat pushes past him and strides out the door, slamming it behind him. "Oh yeah and I broke your lock trying to pick it!" he calls from outside as the door swings back open.

Eridan snarls angrily and chucks his rifle to the sofa. He kicks the nearest thing hard as he can. Unfortunately, the nearest thing happens to be the very solid sofa. He cries out and swears loudly. He hops about for a few seconds, cursing everything from Karkat to the sofa to himself. Someone suddenly grabs his hand and pulls him into their arms. He turns to Feferi, sighing and burying his head in the crook of her neck.

"There is no chance you didn't hear that is there?" he asks.

"Nope. Heard every word," Feferi says. Then she breaths deeply and pulls away, still clinging to his hands though. "Eridan if Sollux is in danger…"

"He's not Captor's fine," Eridan snaps.

"I heard what Karkat said Er," Feferi says sharply. "Sollux is my friend, and just my friend before you start. You've got to go with Karkat, go help him."

"I don't want to," Eridan says pouting slightly.

"Eridan Ampora, you get out there right now and help Karkat. That is an order," Feferi says loudly, pointing after Karkat.

"Fef if Sollux thought there was something after him and Aradia, chances are there's stuff after you and me. I've gotta look after you Fef. I don't want to lose-" Eridan starts but Fef cuts him off by leaning up and kissing him.

"Hush up," she grins and pulls her trident out from behind her back. She spins it in her hands then sticks the end in front of her, between the floorboards. "I can look after myself Eridan. Now go!" Eridan opens his mouth to say something but Feferi interrupts. "Go!"

Eridan obeys, rolling his eyes and walking back to the bedroom. He grabs a bag out from under the bed and starts stuffing cloths inside, on top of all the already permanently packed knives and guns. He pulls a pair of jeans over his boxers, throws his jumper on and scarf around his neck and walks out, back towards the living room and Feferi.

"All packed?" she asks. Eridan sighs and holds up his bag. "See that wasn't so hard."

"I never said packing would be hard," Eridan sighs. Then he hugs Feferi one last time, burying his head in her hair. He breaths in her sweet smell of salt and peaches then kisses her on the cheek and walks out the door.

Karkat's car is parked on their driveway, though the engine is revved and ready to go. Eridan wrinkles his purple freckled nose then climbs into the passenger seat. Karkat nearly jumps out of his skin as Eridan slams the door.

"Jesus Eridan," he yelps.

"Just drive moron," Eridan snaps, plugging his seatbelt in and folding his arms. Karkat doesn't move for a moment then turns to Eridan.

"Thanks-"

"Shut up and go freak," Karkat's smile drops and he glares at Eridan harshly. Then he slams his foot down on the accelerator and they swing out the driveway. Eridan glances over his shoulder, through the back window to watch Feferi wave them off. He watches her until she's out of sight, the last of a smile hinting at his lips before the house and his smile both vanish from view. Eridan gives a sigh and sticks his feet up on the dashboard of the car.

"Get them off," Karkat says, hitting Eridan's leg. Eridan sticks his purple tongue out at him but puts his feet back down.

"So where to first?" he asks. Karkat doesn't answer. "Please tell me we're not going where I think we're going."

"I'm going to see if I can haul Vriska in," Karkat says, not meeting Eridan's eye.

"Oh fucking hell," Eridan groans, pushing his glasses up his face and rubbing his eyes. "Please tell me you're not trying to get the goddamn team back together, you know how that's gonna go Kar!"

"Yeah well maybe I thought you lot could stow your crap with each other and help me find Sollux,"

"Just how dumb are you?" Eridan asks.

"Look it's just an idea okay? I had no fucking idea if you or Vriska or anyone is going to be up for it, I just want a little help saving my fucking friend okay?" Karkat snaps. Then he sighs and takes his eyes off the road to look at Eridan. "Look I am really grateful you're helping. It's literally almost impossible to do this without help."

"Yeah you do really suck at hunting," Eridan says, nodding in agreement.

"I'm not that bad jackass! I've practically been on my own for the past year and a half I've been pretty good!"

"Tagging along with Terezi while she constantly saves your distressed damsel ass does not count," Eridan says, grinning. Then he looks around. "Where is Terezi anyway?"

"She's with Aradia and I am not a goddamn damsel and I'm never in distress,"

"We'll see about that pretty princess," Eridan says, pinching Karkat's cheek. Karkat slaps his hand away. Eridan slaps it back and they start flailing at each other, swearing, until the car starts to swerve off the road and they both grab at the steering wheel yelling. The car straightens out and they continue to speed off down the road.

_(so yeah. hope you enjoyed and shizzle. beluga out 3 )_


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